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2、A：“你有没有恐高症？”B：“有！我低头时望脚尖，都会觉得头晕！”
3、火车上突闻到一股脚臭味，余光一瞟就看见我对面妹子脱了鞋，…就听到我上铺喊了句：大妹子啊。那妹子‘啊’了一声。上铺又说：大城市来的吧？妹子说：你怎么知道啊？上铺笑道：一闻这味怎么着也是香港的啊～～
4、“你怎么一有钱就买包包啊？”“有钱当然">
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<meta property="og:description" content="1、A：“昨天夜里我干了件大事，感觉立马回到了童年。”B：“什么事？”A：“尿床。”
2、A：“你有没有恐高症？”B：“有！我低头时望脚尖，都会觉得头晕！”
3、火车上突闻到一股脚臭味，余光一瞟就看见我对面妹子脱了鞋，…就听到我上铺喊了句：大妹子啊。那妹子‘啊’了一声。上铺又说：大城市来的吧？妹子说：你怎么知道啊？上铺笑道：一闻这味怎么着也是香港的啊～～
4、“你怎么一有钱就买包包啊？”“有钱当然">
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<meta name="twitter:description" content="1、A：“昨天夜里我干了件大事，感觉立马回到了童年。”B：“什么事？”A：“尿床。”
2、A：“你有没有恐高症？”B：“有！我低头时望脚尖，都会觉得头晕！”
3、火车上突闻到一股脚臭味，余光一瞟就看见我对面妹子脱了鞋，…就听到我上铺喊了句：大妹子啊。那妹子‘啊’了一声。上铺又说：大城市来的吧？妹子说：你怎么知道啊？上铺笑道：一闻这味怎么着也是香港的啊～～
4、“你怎么一有钱就买包包啊？”“有钱当然">

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        <p><span style="color: #656d77;">1、A：“昨天夜里我干了件大事，感觉立马回到了童年。”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">B：“什么事？”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">A：“尿床。”</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #656d77;">2、A：“你有没有恐高症？”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">B：“有！我低头时望脚尖，都会觉得头晕！”</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #656d77;">3、火车上突闻到一股脚臭味，余光一瞟就看见我对面妹子脱了鞋，…就听到我上铺喊了句：大妹子啊。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">那妹子‘啊’了一声。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">上铺又说：大城市来的吧？</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">妹子说：你怎么知道啊？</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">上铺笑道：一闻这味怎么着也是香港的啊～～</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #656d77;">4、“你怎么一有钱就买包包啊？”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">“有钱当然买包包啊。你走在路上拿着爱马仕，经过的人都知道你有钱。你不能拉着每个人说：呵呵，姐昨晚吸了五万块的粉。对于我这种虚荣的人来说，得憋死。就跟搞了吴彦祖不让说一样，我图什么呀！”</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #656d77;">5、我俩逗B哥们看动物世界来着，说到大马哈鱼为了产卵，最后付出了生命，河滩上漂着好多死鱼，这时A说：“这么多死鱼你进去捡两条回来煮呗。”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">B：“怎么进去？”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">A：“把电视砸了不就可以了。”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">当时我那哥们就急了：“你TM当我傻B啊！我要是把电视砸了，那一河的水流出来还不把我家淹了啊！”</span><br> <!--nextpage--><br><span style="color: #656d77;">1、士兵问连长：作战时踩到地雷咋办？连长大为恼火：靠，能咋办？踩坏了照价赔偿。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">2、很久墨收到你的信息俺很心疼</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">俺想到死曾用薯片割过脉用豆腐撞过头用降落伞跳过楼</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">用面条上过吊可都墨死成</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">你就请俺吃顿饭撑死俺算了</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">3、如果感到心里挖凉挖凉的，请拨打俺的电话！谈感情请按1，谈工作请按2，谈人生请按3，给俺介绍对象请按5，请俺吃饭请直说，找俺借钱请挂机。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">4、长颈鹿嫁给了猴子，一年后长颈鹿提出离婚：我再也不要过这种上蹿下跳的日子了！猴子大怒：离就离！谁见过亲个嘴还得爬树的！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">5、鱼说：“我时时刻刻把眼睁开是为了在你身边不舍离开。”水说：“我终日流淌不知疲倦是为了围绕你，好好把你抱紧。”锅说：“都他妈快熟了还这么多废话。”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">6、吃饭了吗？请接收短信。大象把大便排在路中央，一只蚂蚁正好路过，它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕的顶峰，不禁唱到：呀啦索，这就是青藏高原！~~~~</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">7、你都长大了，有些事应该让你知道了：天，是用来刮风下雨的；地，是用来长花长草的；我，是用来证明人类是多伟大的；你是用来炖粉条的。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">8、在铁路旁大号却没带纸时，别着急，火车会提醒你：裤擦，裤擦，裤裤擦！在河边上大号却没带纸时，别着急，青蛙会告诉你：棍刮，棍刮，棍棍刮！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">9、钱可以买房子但买不到家，能买到婚姻但买不到爱，可以买到钟表但买不到时间，钱不是一切，反而是痛苦的根源，把你的钱给我，让我一个人承担痛苦吧！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">10、老天，太蓝！大海，太咸！人生，太难！工作，太烦！和你，有缘！想你，失眠！见你，太远！唉，这可让我怎么办？想你想得我吃不下筷子，咽不下碗！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">11、送你12生肖，祝你聪明如鼠，强壮如牛，胆大如虎，可爱如兔，自信如龙，魅力如蛇，浪漫如马，温顺如羊，顽皮如猴，美丽如鸡，忠诚如狗，长得像猪！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">12、黑猩猩不小心踩到了长臂猿拉的大便，长臂猿温柔细心地帮其擦洗干净后它们相爱了，别人问起它们是怎么走到一起的？黑猩猩感慨地说：猿粪！都是猿粪啊！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">13、狮子和熊分别在树旁大便，一个月后，狮子发现自己大便旁的树木比熊的那棵长得粗壮，于是说了一句饱含沧桑的哲理——狮屎胜于熊便！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">14、心里想一个数字，用它加上52.8，再乘以5，然后减区3.9343，再除以0.5，最后再减去心里想的那个数的十倍，答案很浪漫哦！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">15、你在办公室里老放响屁，同事忍不住说你能不能不出声。然后便见你坐在那里摇来晃去抖个不停，问你在干什么，你回答说我调成震动的了！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">16、亲爱的上帝，请保佑那些不打电话给我，也不传短信给我，更没有想念我的朋友们：愿主把他们的手机掉到厕所里去吧，阿门！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">17、传说你可狠了，在戏院里横躺着占四个座位，别人叫你起来，你却只哼哼两声不动地方，保安来了说：朋友够狠，哪条道上的？你咬牙说：楼上过道摔下来的！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">18、思你念你想着你，找个画家画下你，把你贴在杯子里，整天喝水望着你——幸福吗？倒杯开水烫死你！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">19、尊敬的用户，此时我们已从您的话费中扣除20元献给巴勒斯坦民族解放事业，为此巴自治政府决定以全体阿拉伯世界的名义授予您崇高的称号：本.沙勒巴基！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">20、学问之美，在于使人一头雾水；诗歌之美，在于煽动男女出轨；女人之美，在于蠢得无怨无悔；男人之美，在于说谎说得白日见鬼。</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">21、在乎你的我只在乎我在乎的是是否在乎在乎你的我，我在乎的你是否和在乎你的我在乎我在乎的你一样在乎在乎你的我，小样儿，看晕你！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">22、听说过吗？前世的五百次回眸，才换得今生的一次擦肩，象你我这样亲密的朋友，上辈子似乎没干什么，光他妈回头了！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">23、有两个造假钞的不小心造出面值15元的假钞，两人决定拿到偏远山区花掉，当他们拿一张15元买了1元的糖葫芦后，他们哭了，农民找了他们两张7块的</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">24、你的人生写照：十岁学会自己洗澡——猪自清；二十岁光彩照人——猪时茂；三十岁找到工作——猪立业；四十岁雇了佣人——猪得佣；五十岁学会打篮球——猪投！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">25、一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责吗？”小男孩说：“当然能，我们都不是一两岁的人了！”</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">26、刚才和朋友聊天，其中有谈到你，知道吗？我和他们吵了起来，还差点动手打起来，因为他们有的说你像猴子，有的说你像猩猩，实在太过分了！根本没有把你当猪看！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">27、有一天，我对你说你是猪，你说：我是猪才怪。于是我便开始叫你猪才怪。终于有一天你忍不住在众人面前大声宣布：我不是猪才怪！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">28、伊拉克战争期间最流行的三个词：和平peace，战争war.发现found，把这三个英文单词连起来大声读三遍，你会揭开一个重大历史谜团。（屁是我放的）…</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">29、人</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">会谈恋爱，</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">不特殊；</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">牛</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">会吃青草，</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">不特殊；</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">猪</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">会按电话，</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">才特殊；</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">还按！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">真是神猪！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">哇噻！还会笑！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">真是酷呆了的猪！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">30、有两句话一直很想对你说，今天终于提起勇气：第一句，我爱你我好喜欢你；第二句，千万不要把第一句当真</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">31、心理测验：</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">自我觉得智商挺高的往下按</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">觉得自己还挺幽默的往下按</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">觉得自己还挺有魅力的往下按</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">觉得自己还相貌挺帅的往下按</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">测验结果：</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">挺不要脸的</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">32、在你的眉宇间我看到沧桑，在你的眼中我看到自信，在你的额头我看到岁月，在你的唇齿间我看到韭菜，快去刷牙！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">33、吃屎、簟璁、醭歙、艽绱、癀穑、魍旃、偬彘、硪钚、鲥硐、上面的词你认识几个，是不是发现自己除了吃屎就什么也不会了呢？</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">34、两头牛在吃草。其中一头说；“最近流行疯牛病，我们不会被传染上吧？”另一头说；“不会，我们是袋鼠啊。”已经疯了！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">35、我一直是江湖中不知名的侠客，直到有一天遇到了传说中最神秘的你，竟然叫出了你的名字，从此，我在江湖上也有了响当当的名号：知猪狭！</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">36、征婚：家穷人丑一米四九</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">小学文化农村户口</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">破屋三间薄田一亩</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">冷锅热灶老婆没有，</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">一年四季药不离口</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">今日短信广征女友</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">革命道路并肩携手</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">愿否？</span><br><span style="color: #656d77;">37、医生：“怎么找不到我的笔了呢？我想给你开药方.”病人小声地提醒到：“医生，您不是把它放在我的胳肢窝里了吗？”</span></p>

      
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